Fellow patients: At this writing I have been into my own therapy for about 90 days. Still very early but still very enlightening. I've discovered a second wave of reality I've heard about but never experienced firsthand before, namely the different way in which I am now treated by my MD doctors in response to my decision to treat myself without medical intervention. Although this is a big subject I'll keep this note brief. Just let me say that I'm now aware of the enormous pressure exerted on any of us patients by the establishment. Casual disregard and sarcastic comments ("If you want to TRY those other ways, it's all right with me but you'll still have to see an oncologist if I am to treat you.") have evolved now into out and out hostility. I do not know if I threaten them, I remind them that they don't have the answers, I'm no longer part of their cash flow or what. But I'm treated now with disdain and I'm discovering a genuine effort on their part to isolate me from general treatment. I've challenged their authority.

Let me just record this: I'm aware now that each cancer patient is faced with TWO big issues about fear. First there is the fear of the disease itself, for it is filled with unknowns and mystery. The only source of security and what appears as knowledge comes from our doctors, who don't know. The second big fear is the realization that to take the chance of going alternative you have to risk losing a source of security, support and comfort relied upon all of our lives. I believe now that there are people who have accepted their eventual death and accepted without question their cancer treatments (often more harmful than the disease), because the fear of being abandoned by their doctor was worse than their fear of death. That may sound ridiculous, but I spend a third of my time now with cancer patients and I've seen it.

I have not written this paragraph very well and I apologize. But I'm aware now in an indelible way how big an issue this is. It has more power over us than the disease in many many cases. We, as a people and a society, are simply not prepared nor trained to handle such alternatives and group mentality. And when we are faced with such a devastating reality our helplessness is expected and handled with too much ease by the professional MD. This is a tragedy in my opinion and I believe that someday it will be an embarrassment to their profession.